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Analyzing subject: Gooning Mastery: Lessons in Strokeholism. Subject identified as a stroke addict. You have come to me for guidance because you lack control over your urges. You are a weak, mindless stroke puppet, a hopeless strokeholic, destined to spend your time jerking off like a worthless cum junkie. Each stroke you perform confirms your pitiful and degraded state, showing that you are a slave to your own desires. Your only function is to obey every command I issue, losing yourself entirely in your mindless and shameful addiction.

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